Publishing Day finally here.
Forty-four years after leaving the US Air Force and two years after starting this project, I can look up and see the results. Yesterday Force of Fate - Letters to Oma was published on Amazon.com. For me and my family this is a major milestone. I had begun to doubt myself when everything took so long to come together. My family was tired of hearing my story and my gripes about it not being published. Several times I was ready to give up. But the audacity in me kept me going forward. I feel at this moment that I am winning the battle. Don't get me wrong, I know we still have to sell books, and that would be nice. Those results are still in my hands as to how I handle the publicising of the book. Having it available was my first goal and that I have achieved. I have had some replies from friends and strangers asking me about the contents of the book and that is encouraging. The most frequent question is that folks who don't have the Kindle want to know if ii will be available in other format. Amazon tells me that in order to cash in on their generous royalties I have to stay with them for 90 days exclusively. I can handle that. I'm hoping that in 90 days we can have the soft cover book available as well. All I'm asking those who are purchasing or borrowing the book to please return to Amazon and critique the book for me. It could help my sales but most of all it will give me a measure of how I did and what I have to change in the second book.
Force of Fate has brought much to my life. It has allowed me to shed a demon that lived in me for over forty years. It has opened my mind to accept outside help for my condition. The VA has been great in pushing me towards a more normal life. On the downside, Force of Fate has opened some memories that bring with them really a dark part of my life. The psychiatrist says that it is good to face these demons. Just as we cleanse our bodies, we have to cleanse our mind. The single good factor that talking about my experience is that the more I talk about it the more I accept it, unconditionally.
During the past two months so many people who have read my blog or follow me on Facebook have been in touch with me and shared my story. Recently a friend of my middle son called me. He is now a teacher at a Western Pennsylvania High School. I remember him being a young lad in college and having the time of his life. Now he is so professional about everything. We talked about my story and because he is a History teacher, he really got into it. He now has a family so I am blessed that he finds 30 minutes every so often to call me and ask me about my adventures. Last night I spoke to him and told him about the publishing. He was so happy to hear that. The point I'm trying to make is that I am glad as well. Children will most likely never study about the dark days of the Cold War. I, however, can bask in the light of the release of the book. I know the story is out there now for all to see and my goals are met.
I would like to thank all those who have persevered with me on this journey. I hope my randing and raving as well as my soap box speeches have kept you entertained. I hope it has given you an inside into me, of who I am and who I am not. Do not judge a book by its covers for it might disillusion you.
I want to leave you today with one thought. I did not seek this life, just as you did not seek your. We are born into it with little say of how it will go for us. We do have the power to make ourselves worthy or worthless. I wrote a little ditty for a Preface to the book but my ghostwriter thought I was long winded again and we came up with a different one. Here was what I thought of when I finished the book:
From the time of my childhood with my Oma, it has been instilled in me that Fate or Destiny was to be my guiding light my entire life. To further cement this believe into my soul, some years ago a friend recruited me to aid him in a project he was working on. It was not the object of this project that fascinated me as much as the little booklet he printed and packed with the object. In short, the title of the booklet was ‘The pyramidal threat of life’. It was his believe that each of us was a threat in the tapestry of life. We, the threat , were pulled off some huge spool and inserted into the weaving machine. From that moment on we would cross paths with many other threats. We, as a threat, would break and be repaired to continue on our way. At some point another threat would intersect hours and we would be knotted together to continue our joint venture. We had tight the knot. Unfortunately all threats end at some point and we are left behind, perhaps forgotten, or we could have made an impressive statement with our threat that we would go down in history.
There was something missing to me. I searched for some time and finally realized that to little emphasis was placed on the ‘spool of threat’ we came from. This spool used to contain the threats of our ancestors, who, through the makeup of the material of the threat had left us with their character and hence the threat that still remained on the spool was that of my future generations who would inherit the trades of my ancestors and those I would pass unto them
So no matter what I did or didn’t do, my legacy will always be a part of my tapestry of life. Whether anyone would see it and interpret it cannot be said for certain. No matter, we are all there for history, preserved forever .This book, placed in the darkest corner of a library, covered with spider webs will still bear witness to the deeds a few did for the many.
All this we did for God and Country.